I have always been in love with love. Throughout my teen years I was searching for it, and in my early twenties I spent most of my days trying to unravel the mystery of it. I was a serial dater, always on the hunt for Prince Charming… until I gave up on him and then eventually found something so much better. Between my many years of dating and now three years of marriage, I have learned a lot about what love does and doesn’t look like. I learned a lot of things the hard way, and there are so many things I always want to share with those who will listen. Don’t do what I did. You can do better. You can make healthier, wiser choices. So when I run into likeminded comrades on the journey, good luck shutting me up!
Debra K. Fileta is a fellow sojourner, blogger, author, and licensed counselor who just released her first book, entitled True Love Dates. Written from a faith-based perspective, it is one of the best relationship books I have read in a long time. And that is saying a lot considering I’m the kind of girl who has read probably WAY too many books on relationships. Fileta’s book is easy to read with a conversational, approachable tone. She tells thought-provoking and heart-wrenching stories from her practice as well as her own life. Throughout the pages of this book you feel as if you are listening to a very wise friend, which makes sense considering she is a licensed professional counselor!
The reason to read it for single believers trying to navigate the dating scene is this: it is rare to find a book that speaks truthful, relevant advice to the (largely) millennial, twenty-something generation trying to find love. The reality is so many people are trying to find a mate while carrying baggage they never considered they may be hauling. True Love Dates asks the reader to first stop and look inward, and do some hard work before moving outward in pursuit of a dating relationship. There are no secret formulas, just the benefits of self-awareness and encouragement of openness to God’s healing. I found myself identifying time and again with Fileta’s stories and highlighting crucial insights every few pages.
This book offers sound counsel, but goes beyond that, including practical steps in the form of questions for reflection at the end of each chapter to aid readers in their journey of discovering how ‘True Love Dates.’ I recommend this book to anyone looking for a Christ-like perspective on dating, whether you are single yourself, have single friends, or are a counselor/pastor.
And finally, a few of my favorite quotes from the book to whet your appetite:
“Loving yourself requires that you know, value, and respect the person you are while moving toward the person God has made you to be.”
“Healthy people will marry healthy people because you’ll always end up with the person whom you believe you deserve.”
“I need you to hear this: your story has far more to do with finding God’s unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life.”
Get your own copy of True Love Dates for yourself or a friend on Amazon (Kindle version is as low as $7.99!) or the TLD website. If you read it, let me know. I’d love to grab a coffee and talk about it!
What is your favorite resource on the topic of dating? What is the best piece of relationship advice you’ve received?